Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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