Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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