You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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