Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
