Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
