I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
