If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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