u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
