I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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