Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
