My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize