i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
