We got so high we made milksteak
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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