well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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