where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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