Kiss
Puke
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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