I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
