508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Never joke about your clitoris.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
