i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
