Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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