it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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