Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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