Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
