I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
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she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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