after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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