It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
