The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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