Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
