Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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