Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
