YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
