I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
