Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
