Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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