i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
