You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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