If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
