Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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