The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
