I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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