I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dicks are not precious.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
