At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
