I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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