After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
