if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
