we have officially lost it.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
