I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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