Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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