i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
