Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
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he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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