did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
