Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize