She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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