so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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