i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
