he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
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