If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He felt like a one man threesome
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
