I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So here I am, sexting at work.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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