I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
