They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
