I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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