Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
