Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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