i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
